You can’t withstand your environment you’re a part of it

I am I plus my circumstances. Jose Ortega y Gasset

While it’s true that the way we perceive and interpret events impacts how we experience them, it’s only part of the story.

Too much emphasis has been placed on our ability to withstand the environment as if it were somehow separate from us.

Instead, we are a continuation of our environment, visible and invisible forces within it profoundly impact how we behave.

The self

Of course, how people see and construe things differs.

We know that perception is influenced by expectations and unconscious biases. Prejudices we may not be aware of profoundly impact what we pay attention to and recall.

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We are as we think & how we’re treated +

We are as we think

We’re told we are as we think.

Perception can have a dramatic impact on wellbeing but the reality is far more complex.

We are as we are treated

Mostly we believe we are as we are treated.

When we’re treated well, we presume that who we are and what we do is okay and can withstand a bit of ebb and flow.

But when we’re treated badly we worry that we caused it, deserve it or even worse – are fundamentally bad.

This is particularly true for those who are mistreated young and do not understand that adults are flawed.

Abusers know this intuitively and depend on it.

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